Establishing better rapport

Several years ago I heard a story from a psychologist in New York about something that happened while he was conducting a group counseling session. One member of the group was a paranoid schizophrenic, and he started acting out. The patient jumped up, started talking rapidly, gesturing excitedly, and causing concern among the other patients.

Previously the therapist would have gotten up and gone to the patient and tried to regain control and calm him down. Instead, the psychologist tried a technique that he had learned in the Silva training.

It is a technique that allows you to find out exactly what the other person is experiencing. At your level, you imagine that you are superimposing the subject's head over your own, as though you were putting on a helmet. Then you can test the subject's senses by testing your own senses. Whatever you sense is what your subject is sensing.

The psychologist stayed in his seat and mentally superimposed the patient's head over his own and began thinking to figure out what the patient was experiencing.

Suddenly the patient stopped and looked directly at the psychologist.

"You know what I'm thinking,, don't you?" the patient asked.

The therapist cautiously acknowledged that he did.

"You have the same thoughts in your head that I have in mine, don't you?" the patient asked.

Once again, the psychologist cautiously confirmed that he believed he did.

"Then that means that I'm not crazy, doesn't it? Because if I'm crazy, you're crazy too!"

The effect of this realization was spectacular, the psychologist reported. When the patient discovered that somebody else knew what he was experiencing, and was experiencing the same thing, he didn't feel so alone anymore, he didn't feel so different, so abnormal.

Shared experience is very powerful. In this instance, it turned out to be a healing experience.

The patient made more progress as a result of that one experience than he had made in the previous year of therapy.

Understanding ourselves better

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